You’ll Find Love Someday.

You keep giving people chances because you know what it’s like to want to be right about someone. And you hope and pray that just maybe this time it’ll be different.

You try not to get your hopes up because you know what it’s like to feel let down. Yet, you still hold onto faith that maybe this time it won’t happen that way.

Cancelled plans don’t faze you, even though you’re the same person who wouldn’t flake out. You tell someone you’re going to be there and you come early and wait.

It seems like you’re always the one waiting. Wishing. Hoping. Wanting. Loving hard. Because you don’t know how to do anything else.

And you give everything you have in you to people who haven’t yet proved they deserved it because you don’t think love is something someone has to earn. Yet it feels like you’re jumping through hoops of fire trying to get something you give so freely.

You value love more than anyone because you know what it’s like to get it right.

So you keep trying. Thinking maybe this will be the moment and the person that’s different.

But sometimes it feels like you lose yourself loving people the way you do.

It feels like this thing you want so badly is out of reach.

They tell you to love yourself first before you can love someone else and it isn’t that you don’t love who you are, but there are times you question it. Question why you feel things so deeply. And hurt as hard as you do.

There are times you wonder why it’s so easy for everyone else and you seem to struggle with these relationships that have dead ends and question marks.

It seems like you’re the one who is always sure and it’s everyone else who isn’t.

Relationships aren’t supposed to be complicated and you fall so easily into people who lead you on because they could potentially play the part. But when push comes to shove you find yourself hearing another excuse for why this can’t be what you want it to be.

Your ears have grown mute to everything they say because all it is are lies.

Your heart grows heavy because you don’t know how much longer you can keep giving and not getting something in return.

Your eyes are tired. Tired of looking at everyone and feeling like there is something wrong with you or there is something missing within you.

And you keep playing this role of what someone needs and no one has taken the time to even care about what you need. Nor do they want to step up to the plate and be that person for you.

But you keep trying.

You keep taking chances on people.

And you keep getting hurt.

But I promise you that’s going to change. Because the person who can overcome disappointment and heartbreak and still hold onto faith, is the person who gets not only a good relationship, but the best one there is.

And just because it’s taking you a bit longer to find that, it doesn’t mean it won’t happen for you.


When You Thought She’d Be The One.

So she was the girl you thought you were going to marry, right?

For years you created this life together. A life you thought would be your future.

You did everything right. I’m sure you sent her flowers just because. Took her on amazing dates. I’m sure even you were taken back by the romantic she turned you into. But you loved her and you wanted her to be happy. Because her happiness made you happy. And knowing you were the one to put a smile on her face was enough.

I’m sure you went on trips creating memories that are now seared into your mind not to be forgotten. I’m sure you still look at pictures from time to time.

I’m sure there are still songs that come on the radio and you don’t know if you should change it or just listen to it.

I’m sure there are still roads you avoid driving down and moments where even now it hits you.

I’m sure you went to weddings together and you looked at her and thought one day that would be you two. Maybe you even knew the ring she wanted.

But then something changed. There was a shift in both of you. Or maybe just her and as you watched her fall out of love with you, you fell harder. For some reason, you guys couldn’t overcome it.

You outgrew each other.

Now here you are, alone. I know there are still moments you catch yourself looking back and wondering. Mourning the loss of the best love you’ve ever known.

Respect the love you found because it was real. But also understand there’s a reason you outgrew it.

And respect her because she was special, there is no denying that.

And you meet a lot of beautiful women, but they don’t have it. She was a standard all her own. She ran circles around everyone without trying. And I’m sure you felt like the lucky one standing next to her.

But trust me when I say there’s a reason it didn’t work out.

Everything you did for her and how deeply you loved her, someone is going to do that for you one day. You’re different and I know that’s hard sometimes. You don’t look like you’re the type to wear your heart on your sleeve or fall that hard, but you did and you do.

As much as you want to change sometimes, you are who you are. And someone is going to really appreciate the fact you haven’t.

And someone is going to really appreciate the fact, the relationship you thought was the one turned out not to be.

Someone is going to love you in ways you never thought you were capable of being loved, and that’s what is going to heal you.



I can’t remember anything
Can’t tell if this is true or dream
Deep down inside I feel the scream
This terrible silence stops me, Now that the war is through with me
I’m waking up, I cannot see
That there’s not much left of me
Nothing is real but pain nowHold my breath as I wish for death
Oh please, God, wake me

Back in the womb it’s much too real
In pumps life that I must feel
But can’t look forward to reveal
Look to the time when I’ll live

Fed through the tube that sticks in me
Just like a wartime novelty
Tied to machines that make me be
Cut this life off from me

Hold my breath as I wish for death
Oh please, God, wake me

Now the world is gone, I’m just one
Oh God, help me
Hold my breath as I wish for death
Oh please, God, help me

Imprisoning me
All that I see
Absolute horror
I cannot live
I cannot die
Trapped in myself
Body my holding cell

Has taken my sight
Taken my speech
Taken my hearing
Taken my arms
Taken my legs
Taken my soul
Left me with life in hell