How You’ll Miss Him Once It Ends.

You’ll miss him in little moments that’ll catch you by surprise. Moments where you think you’re fine and you’ve moved and things are okay. Suddenly it’ll hit you and it’s going to feel like someone knocked the wind out of you. Because you realize loving someone doesn’t just go away because they did.

And it’s not gonna be at 3 in the morning when you’re lying there alone in bed. It’s going to be at 3 in the afternoon, on an average Tuesday, when you’re laughing with your friends or family and suddenly you just stop.

It’ll be in the sweatshirt that falls from your closet you forget about and never gave back. It’ll be when Christmas comes around and you’re sitting on your couch looking at the tree and you think back to how much has changed in a year when he was right there with you. It’ll be in the song you hear on the radio that hurts, but you don’t change the station. It’ll be on the roads you used to drive and you look over at an empty passenger seat thinking about when he used to be there.

You’ll miss him in the places you used to go together and now you sit there alone. Hurting and aching silently, only you look like you’re okay. Because you have to be. It’ll be in the coffee shop you used to go to often and the barista asks if you want your usual two coffees. So you stop going there.

You’ll miss him in the moments people don’t know it ended and they ask how he’s doing or where is he and you realize you lost the right to know that answer a long time ago.

You’ll miss him in the letter you held onto or the card you couldn’t throw away, and you’ll reread words that take you back to a time when they were real. It’ll be in the pictures you find face down in your junk drawer that you know you should have thrown away, but you didn’t.

You’ll miss him when something good or bad happens and you look at your phone staring at the date of the last time you spoke, and something about that little detail hurts like hell.

You’ll miss him when you hear someone say his name in public and your head will turn sharply thinking it’s him and your heart will race.

But you’ll miss him the moment you see him again and you make awkward eye contact. He looks the same, but you realize you’re staring at a familiar stranger. Maybe small talk is exchanged and what isn’t being said between the words, ‘how are you?’ is ‘I miss you.’ ‘Do you ever think of me too?’ So instead you say ‘fine.’

And you look back one last time hoping maybe he’s watching too. Because maybe if he was even for a moment, you’d be taken back to a time when love didn’t hurt so badly.


I Hope This Is The Year…

I hope the guy you meet is one who shows you chivalry isn’t outdated but wants to prove to you that good guys do still exist leading by example.

I hope he opens the doors you walk through and pulls out your chair. I hope he takes your coat off and insists on paying even when you fight him for the bill.

I hope he’s someone who takes your hand when you’re walking on the sidewalk and makes sure he stands on the outside.

I hope he’s the type of guy who gives you his jacket when you look like you’re cold.

I hope he’s someone who doesn’t think being a romantic is corny and asks you to slow dance to a song that now is starting to make sense as you listen carefully to the words.

I hope he’s someone who walks you to the door when the night is over, and isn’t afraid of meeting your parents. I hope he’s someone that insists on it.

I hope he’s the type of guy who sends flowers to your office just because he wanted to make you smile, and cared enough to learn what your favorite was.

I hope he’s someone who pays attention to small details you tell him, even if it’s things you’ve only ever said in a whisper.

I hope he’s the type of person you can rely on. Someone who keeps his words and sticks to plans. Someone who will show you through his example that he’s there for you in every sense of the world. I hope he is someone who supports you, your career, your dreams and believes in you a little more than you believe in yourself.

I hope he’s someone that never makes you question how he feels or where you stand. Someone who makes you a priority and respects you. I hope he answers your texts quickly and calls you just to hear your voice.

I hope he’s honest and straightforward and even though it might scare you a little bit, you also trust him that he might be different. I hope he’s someone who wants to be.

I hope he’s someone who looks at you and is proud to be standing next to you. The type of guy who wants to show you off to everyone. And even if you’ve never been a fan of PDA or flaunting a relationship across social media, part of me hopes you become that person because you deserve a relationship like that.

I hope he’s someone who takes the time to learn you. The things you like. The things you don’t. The things that made you exactly who you are. I hope he’s someone you take back to your hometown and he wants to know all about it.

I hope he’s someone who is patient and understanding and wants to follow your lead, adding no pressure because he knows you’ve been hurt and led on in the past, and he wants to be the one who is different.

I hope he’s someone who values sex and a physical relationship and waits because he knows some people are worth waiting for.

I hope he’s someone who loves you unconditionally and doesn’t want to change you because in your eyes, everything about you might not be perfect, but you’re perfect for him.

I hope he’s someone who knows when to apologize when he’s wrong. Who knows when to listen even though he might have something to say. Who knows when to hold you because you need him. I hope he’s someone who teaches you needing someone does not make you weak. And being vulnerable isn’t unattractive, but essential to form connections.

I hope he’s someone you fight with and he teaches you fights don’t mean something is about to end. I also hope he’s someone who never stops fighting for you.

I hope he’s someone who is strong in those moments you can’t be.

I hope he’s someone who has faith in your moments of doubt.

I hope he’s someone who takes your hand confidently in moments you might be scared of what this is and where it’s going.

I hope he’s the one who makes you realize why it never worked out with anyone in the past and for the first time, you are happy about it. Because even that love that hurt to let go, he’s better than.

I hope he’s someone who makes you want to be a better person and by meeting him, everyone can see a change in who you’ve become standing beside him. But most of all, what they see is someone who really is happy.

I hope he’s someone who truly is your better half.

I hope he becomes the love you can’t imagine your life without. The future you see looking into his eyes.

I hope he’s someone who proves he deserves your love and attention and even when he gets it, I hope he never stops trying to show you he’s the lucky one.

I hope he’s someone who is afraid to lose you, so he does everything right that he doesn’t have to.

I hope he’s someone who still makes you nervous in a good way.

I hope he’s someone who looks at you the way no one ever has before.

I hope this is the year you get the type of love and relationship you deserve.