50 Lies Anxiety Tells You.

1. You aren’t good enough.

2. You aren’t pretty enough.

3. You aren’t smart enough.

4. You’re going to fail.

5. You are going to get fired.

6. Your friends don’t actually like you.

7. They all talk about you when you leave.

8. This new person you’re seeing doesn’t care.

9. Everyone feels sorry for you.

10. They all think you’re weird.

11. You probably didn’t lock the door before you left.

12. Someone is going to break in.

13. You definitely didn’t turn off the stove.

14. The house is going to burn down.

15. You forgot something, turn around.

16. If you turn around though you’re going to be late.

17. You really messed up today.

18. You said something really dumb in the meeting.

19. That person is deliberately ignoring your texts.

20. You should send the second one though.

21. Your relationship is going to end.

22. And it’s going to be all your fault.

23. You’re nuts.

24. No one will understand this.

25. So don’t explain it.

26. Everyone is staring at you right now.

27. No one wants you here.

28. No one likes you.

29. You’re a burden to everyone.

30. Something bad is going to happen on this flight.

31. This problem is completely your fault.

32. You could have done better.

33. Everyone thinks you’re weird.

34. You don’t have real friends.

35. Remember that mistake you made?…

36. They haven’t forgiven you.

37. You should probably apologize.

38. Everyone thinks you’re making a big deal out of nothing.

39. Everyone sees how nervous you are.

40. You’re going to do terribly.

41. You humiliated yourself drinking last night.

42. You lost all your friends.

43. You ruined your relationship.

44. You lost everyone’s respect.

45. Everyone is doing so much better than you.

46. Everyone is a lot happier.

47. You’re not going to sleep yet.

48. Let’s replay everything that happened.

49. Stop trying so hard you’ll never be good enough.

50. Everyone will leave you.


I’m Very Confused About Today’s Dating.

It’s anticipating the worst just because that’s always how it’s played out in the past.

So you don’t get your hopes up. Instead, you manage your expectations.

It’s every step you take being one that’s cautious because you fear making the wrong move.

You fear saying the wrong thing. You fear coming on too strong. You fear making a mistake that someone will judge you entirely for.

We are a generation that has turned into people not looking for our best attributes, instead, they look for your flaws and any reason to leave. Any small glitch and you’re done.

And because of this, we all walk around paranoid as fuck.

When one wrong text, one wrong word, one wrong move can make or break you, we’re all cautious versions of ourselves trying so hard to not mess up.

You stare at your phone and wonder why they haven’t answered in hours.

Then they finally do and you play coy when to answer not wanting it to be so soon.

When what’s really going through everyone’s mind is why can’t I just talk to someone I want to.

Because then it’s too easy. Then you come on too strong.

We are a generation that has programmed everyone to want to be the one to want who cares less.

You stare at snapchat and see that they opened it, but why haven’t they responded.

Then it frustrates you because they looked at your story that you only posted in hopes they’d see it.

When a like puts you over the edge and a unfollow ends a relationship that might not have even begun, how do we even have normal relationships?

When everyone is swiping for likes but running from love, how do we form emotional connections when everyone’s guard is up?

When did a clever pickup line turn into three letters DTF?

When did ghosting replace actually trying to solve the problem at hand and work through it?

When did sex become so normal and not valued?

When did relationships become something to fear?

When did caring stop being cool as we all pretend we don’t give a fuck about anyone but ourselves.

When did canceled plans become more normal than keeping your word and showing up on time?

When did texting and talking replace actual courting?

When did a follow and a like suddenly hold such value?

These are the questions that run through my mind.

When you look at it really, what has become normal in today’s generation of dating is so fucked up.

I hope for the best of people. But when you’re like me, someone who is a hopeless romantic and very old school when it comes to relationships, I find myself running in these circles with people who look more for excuses then taking a chance.

I find myself falling into these expectations that are dating today when even I know it’s bad.

I find myself more guarded than I’ve ever been before.

I find myself more anxious. Because when every move you make could be the wrong one, you just stand there frozen.

I remember when there wasn’t so much value or rules on things that didn’t matter.

Someone liked you, you might have liked them. You went on a date.

There weren’t these hurdles of social media you were forced to jump through. Likes didn’t add validation to how someone felt when they were straight up telling you on the phone or in person.

I expect the worst and I keep giving my best. And I just hope I’ll meet someone who meets me halfway through this confusion that has become dating. Someone who adds clarity to the chaos we’ve created. But most of the time, I’m just very confused by it all.