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Ghost Of Your Past.

Relationships ending are never easy. Especially when you were in one with someone you thought would be your forever. That person you thought would be the one you’d say your vows to. That person you looked at and you didn’t just see the most beautiful person you’ve ever known, you saw your future.

Then somewhere in all that they stopped feeling the same way.

The words “it’s over” felt foreign to you. Bitter almost.

You still keep replaying it in your mind. You think back to how long it’s been and you are baffled by all of it.

Baffled, that time forced you to move on when you didn’t want to.
Baffled, that you had to learn how to fall out of love with someone the hard way, simply because they stopped loving you.
Baffled, because you didn’t think anyone could cause you this much pain.

Now you are tossing and turning and not sleeping through the night as they meet you in your dreams. You wake up in a cold sweat and realize that’s the closest you’ll ever get to them. They are the ghost of your past you wanted to be your future.

How easily they just walked away with the bits and pieces of your heart, they couldn’t even give back if they tried.

There are some people who touch your heart and change it in such a way you can’t take it back without seeing every bit of them there.

You try to move on but you see them in every corner. You see them on every turn you make and every street you drive down. You look towards your passenger seat and you remember when they were there and everything was good. You walk through your house and you pause for a moment thinking about when they were sitting on your couch, eating at your table, or laying in your bed.

Now your bed seems too big for one, and all you want to do is sleep. But you aren’t sleeping because you are tired, you are sleeping to escape that pain that still lives within you. When you wake up, they are still your first thought. When you go to bed, they are still the one you’re thinking of.

You look at your phone that hasn’t gone off in ages. You never knew silence could scream so loudly in a voice that’s now a memory.

And you know you have to move on but in every person you meet, you look for them as if finding them in someone else would lead you to find yourself again because you feel lost without them. 

But your life moves on, you begin to smile and laugh and live again. But there are still moments and days that hit you between the eyes where all of it comes flooding back to you.

You wonder do they miss you too? Are they thinking about you? Will they come back? Then another day without them begins and you are again forced to endure another day alone, reminding yourself this pain you feel shows that you’re alive but you still wonder how you’ve made it when the best person in your life is so far away

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