I Am, But I’m Not.

I’m not the girl you date. 

I’m not the girl you’ll fall head over heels for. 

I’m not the girl that will keep you up at night wondering about me. 

I’m the girl who will pick up the pieces when someone else hurts you.

I’m the girl who will build you up so much it’ll make your head big. 

And I’m not telling lies, I’m simply telling you this is how I see you. 

I’m girl who will answer every text shamefully fast. 

I’m the girl who will say I love you and not need to hear it back. 

I’m the girl who will break pieces of her own heart just to keep yours whole. 

The one who can function while broken. 

I’m girl who will watch you use me but not be fazed by it.

The one who can read you and knows every move you are making and why. 

But I go along with the game. 

I’m girl you’ll text when you’re drunk and you’re alone and you need attention. But I’m not the girl you go home with.

I’m the girl you can turn to for advice, even if it kills me to hear you talk about someone else. 

I’m the girl who will always help you even if it’s causing me pain.

I’ll never admit it. 

I’ll never call you out on it. 

Because I’m choosing to be this girl. 

I’m the girl who responds when you say jump, I’ll always ask how high? 

I’m the girl who will make all the effort without needing it reciprocated. 

I’m the girl who gets the scraps of what you choose to give and I’m just content with anything at all. 

I’m the girl who has mastered the art of saying I’m happy for you. Even though I wish it were me.

I’m the girl who will always wear her heart on her sleeve giving my best to those who might not deserve it, appreciate it, or value it. 

I’m the girl who will feel the pain with you and never let you feel alone.

Even though there are times you make me feel lonely. 

The one who is always trying even when you don’t. 

I’m the girl who will hurt when you leave, but smile as you go. 

I’m the girl you know will always be there so you don’t have to try to keep me. 

I’m the girl you can hurt, and know you’ll still get a second chance. 

I’m the girl who is brutally honest and blunt. 

I’m the girl who will love you for the rest of time. 

The one who holds on tight to people in her past hoping maybe they return. 

Even though clinging to the past kills me. 

But I’m also the girl who changes you.

The one people fear. 

The one you know would be good for you, but you don’t choose me.

The one who robs you of sleep only after the fact. 

The one who makes you hate your reflection for breaking the heart of someone who loved you. 

I’m the one that haunts you like a catchy tune you don’t like, but it lingers.

The one who is always there even when you’re the one to leave. 

The one who touches your heart so gently it leaves a mark you can’t get rid of.

Because I might not have been the girl you dated. But I’m the one you’ll always regret. 


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