Hard To Hold.

It’s the text that’s gone unanswered and you know he’s read it.

It’s the snap that’s been opened and he’s not responding, but looks at your story first.

It’s every like, share, and tag just when you think he’s out of the picture.

It’s the plan that you made only to have him cancel last minute when you go to confirm what the deal is.

It’s the sound that wakes you up in your sleep and you just know it’s him.

You don’t want to leave but you miss him. Even though you know you shouldn’t.

It’s technically being single but emotionally you’re not, and just when you think something is going somewhere with a stranger, you look down and see his name. 

He holds you without any touch at all.

He knows exactly what to say. He knows exactly when to say it. And you don’t know how he knows.

If it’s a game of who cares less, you always lose. 

Even though you don’t want to play, you continue engaging because you can’t seem to walk away from it.

It’s the words I love you and he knows it, but he won’t ever say them back.

It’s wanting to be something more, but you feel stupid asking a question you know the answer to.

So you stay silent and play along even if it’s killing you to do so.

You hold him close at night knowing this will never be what you need, even if it’s everything you could want.

It’s the time you spend talking about him, analyzing his every move, wondering why is he doing this? Because he knows exactly what he’s doing. Yet, he won’t change.

But you think if you keep trying he might.

So you try to love him harder thinking love is just a game to be won. But no matter what you do, you’re losing. Cause he changes every rule as he pleases.

It’s trying to keep him but knowing in your heart he’s never been yours to have and honestly, he never will be.



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