Open Topic

You Led Her On.

You might not have been together, but you made her think you wanted to be. 

Maybe you weren’t interested completely, but there were times when you made her think you were a little bit.

There were things you said. There were things you did.

Because you didn’t just act as some friend. You made her think you wanted to be more.

You gave her a bit of attention just to pull away.

You told her she looked beautiful every time you saw her. 

You noticed when she changed her hair or dressed up a bit.

What you didn’t know was, she was simply trying to impress you.

But you played games and every move you made, you had her on her toes.

You kept her and everyone confused. Maybe you liked her, but not enough to do anything about it.

I think you liked that someone cared, even when you didn’t.

You liked that someone was willing to put in effort, regardless of how you treated her.

You made her think she had a shot with you every day that you spoke.

Because there were times you texted her every day. There were conversations that lasted hours.

You made her think she had a shot every time you told her to listen to some song. And she replayed it analyzing the lyrics wondering why you wanted her to.

You made her think she had a shot with her every time you told her you missed her.

You made her think she had a shot with you every time you tagged her in something or liked something.

You made her think she had a shot with you, treating you like there was something there and she believed it.

You made her think she had a shot with you, every time you gave her time and attention.

You made her think she had a shot with you, every time you paid for her or opened her door and insisted you drive her home. 

You made her think she had a shot when you introduced her to your parents.

You made her think she had a shot every time you went out of your way for her.

You made her think she had a shot with you every time you got a little jealous.

You made her think she had a shot with you every time you texted her drunk asking what she was up to.

You made her think she had a shot with you every time you confided in her and told her things you didn’t tell other people.

And every time she opened up to you and trusted you and let you in, you made her think there was something there. She let her walls completely crumble with your touch and she let you see her in such a vulnerable state. 

You made her think she had a shot because every time she turned to you emotionally, you reassured her and were there for her.

You made her think that feeling inside her, every time she saw you was mutual.

Every hug where you held on a little tighter. Every kiss on the cheek. Everything gesture. It couldn’t have been her that just felt something.

You made her think she had a shot because every time she told you how she felt, you didn’t tell her to back off. You reaped in the attention and let it continue. You never once told her, “I don’t feel that way.” 

You lied to her every time she was honest.

You made her think she had a shot because you never told her you were seeing someone, even when you were.

So it came as a shock to her when she found out. Then you made her feel like a fool for not knowing something you never told her.

You made her feel like a fool for trying so hard for someone. 

You made her feel like a fool because she was brave enough to care and show it.

Then you made her feel guilty for it like it was her fault for falling when it was you that made her fall without catching her.

You made her think she had a shot with you when she said I love you and you actually said it back.

You made her think she had a shot because she fell in love with you and you let her.

Don’t make her feel like a fool for falling for someone who led her on.

She deserves better, and I think you got to a point where even you realized it. But with that realization came heartbreak and hurting someone who would never do the same. 



Open Topic

Mentally Exhausted.

I get tired of relationships without the label.

I get tired of hookups that don’t lead to something of a commitment. 

I get tired of lies and being told just what I want to hear. 

I get tired of the one days and the promises that are never fulfilled.

I get tired of being let down and disappointed because we aren’t dating and you don’t have any obligation to me. 

I get tired of talking every day then being told we’re just friends. 

I get tired of leaving late at night and knowing it will never turn to morning. Or early mornings that will never lead to afternoons as I tiptoe out of the room with shoes in one hand. I get tired of knowing I’ll hear from you later but you never want me enough to stay.

I get tired of being jealous because we aren’t dating and I don’t have a right to be. 

I get tired of texts that come late at night when you don’t care to ask how my days is. 

I get tired of not knowing what to call you when I introduce you to someone. 

Because friends don’t look at each other the way we do. 

Friends don’t talk the way we do. Friends don’t kiss each other or hold each other as we do. 

I get tired of questioning myself wondering why I’m not enough to get you to commit. 

I get tired of analyzing my flaws wondering if it’s me that needs to change.

I get tired of being so confused all the time. Because one day, it’s this and the other day it’s that. 

I get tired of wondering when and if I’ll meet your family because you keep telling me I will. But in my heart I know they probably don’t know who I am.

I get tired of wondering what this is as I reread every text. 

I get tired of hearing all the right things, but that’s all they are is words beautifully scripted that I want to believe. 

I get tired of every hope being met with disappointment.

I get tired of expecting the worst of someone. 

I get tired of hearing the words I love you followed by but…

I get tired of spelling out exactly how I feel, only to be met with feeling empty. 

I get tired of meeting up with you knowing with certainty, you’re going to leave.

I get tired of hearing the timing isn’t right, so I bank on waiting and hoping and wishing. 

I get tired of wasting my time on someone I can’t seem to walk away from. 

Someone whose text I can’t seem to ignore.

Someone who I meet all the way when they don’t even bother to meet me half. 

Someone who knows how to play me. What to say. What to do. 

And I’m like some puppet in their strings. 

Or some pawn in their game. 

I’m tired of holding onto something I should let go of. 

But more than that, I’m afraid. I’m afraid to discover it was only me holding on.