SEX. Do I have your attention yet? Ok, sweet.
In our modern day society, it seems that we have been culturally conditioned to believe that the orgasm is purely based around climax: Just like waves, it comes and it goes, it ebbs and it flows. Right? Wrong. Believe it or not, like many good things in life, it doesn’t have to end all at once. The tantalizing fireworks that ignite from within can, in fact be tempered into slow, mindful motion and then applied to in all aspects of your life. The emotions released and the total self-awareness tied to this concept of “orgasm” can actually be utilized to accentuate your creative energy, your state of balance, your relationships, your personal development and of course,your happy vibes. And then came this concept of slow sex.
How I Began to Find My Sexual Self
For YEARS, and yes, unfortunately… I mean more years than I am proud of admitting, I had given up on my ability to be intimate, to feel sexual or even comfortable in my own birthday suit. For a while, I threw in the cards on my efforts to embrace that majestic feminine energy that circulates within our vulnerable physical bodies. Whether in the bedroom or simple day-to-day life, I subconsciously drowned out the senses my body was capable of experiencing. There were moments I even questioned if I was alive “down there.” Maybe TMI? But yeah, totally true.
It wasn’t until I started prioritizing various mindful practices such as yoga, breathwork (i.e. Holotropic breathing) and Vipassana meditation, that I actually began to FEEL in my body… externally, internally and well, everything in between. We’re talking the feelings not only pertaining to sex but also, to our day-to-day existence surrounding the ferris wheel of emotions and activities that so mindlessly structure our days.
Let’s put it this way: imagine the gift of pure chocolate being introduced into your taste palate for the first time. A mind-blowing and utterly transformational experience for your senses. Because I compare most things to food, this is as best as I can relate it to you. Much like chocolate or any other “guilty” pleasure,with the simple gift of presence in your body (whether pertaining to sex or not), you can enhance your overall life experience in more ways than you can imagine. Once you’ve truly experienced it, you will very rarely go back.
What I learned about Slow Sex
One day, a good soul-friend and I got immersed in a conversation about a not-so-typical lunch topic: the orgasm. A topic I would once steer clear of, especially in public. But why? As the conversation progressed, she recommended a book called Slow Sex by Nicole Daedone, founder and CEO of OneTaste and Orgasmic Meditation practitioner. Having been on a continual journey of self-discovery and sexual awakening, It didn’t take much for me to want to know more.
In Slow Sex, we are introduced to the intriguing and totally soul-immersing concept of Orgasmic Meditation or as some refer to it: OM. Orgasm? Meditation? In the same sentence? No way. But, hold your doubtful little horses, because contrary to popular belief, this beautifully constructed practice goes so far beyond the superficial plane that now shapes our existing perspective of sexuality and well, the act of sex in general. Having abandoned the metaphysical, feminine part of my being that embraces my inner sexuality for an extended period of my life, I can confirm that this concept will have you wishing you knew about it sooner. Mhmmm…it’s THAT good.
Daedone structures the book with enrapturing personal and professional perspectives on the art of sex and of course, the orgasm. A book, comprised of narration that so perfectly flows in alignment with our sexual desires, needs, traumas and well… questions. Because, let’s face it: we’ve alllll got questions.
A practice that taught me to focus on the feeling. Not the act. Either with yourself or someone else. Love the process and wholeheartedly embrace the intelligence, the wisdom, the empowerment that this sensory connection imparts onto and into you. In fact, the “climax” should be the least of your worries. Embrace your body; feel in your skin; know your wants and cherish your needs…. and the rest will come.
Our Greatest, Innate Superpower
The orgasm is, for lack of a better description, a total badass. If you don’t think I’m nuts yet (and even if you do) then please… keep reading. Daedone refers to this omnipresent force as the innate compass and highly accessible powerful surge that resides within all of us unique individual human beings- comprised of body, mind, soul and spirit. It is this remarkable entity that has the ability to connect our physical vessel to the metaphysical, higher self and beyond. It can be one of our greatest teachers and trustworthy guides. The desire and balance that we often circumnavigate the ends of the Earth for, can simply be accessed by taking the time to familiarize ourselves with the bodies we were born to inhabit.
So, if I don’t have you convinced yet, just consider the fact that I am telling you, as a girl whose body once induced itself with a sexual anesthetic and having felt entirely detached for a large chunk of my twenties. I’m not saying the transformation comes overnight but, like the most valuable things in life, with a bit of patience, slow persistence and intimate conversation, you will be set sail on an epic voyage into the innately powerful (and sexual) self.