Open Topic

Peace Out 2019.

2019, it’s been a pleasure.

We had a long ride of ups and downs—maybe more downs than ups, but it had to be like that. I get it. I had to learn all the lessons you wanted to teach me.

We, this year and I, had to end it in a bang. Otherwise, I would have learned nothing.

I had to lose so many things in order to appreciate what was coming. I had to hit rock bottom to learn to rise again—stronger, smarter, better.

You’ve let me make one mistake after another because you wanted to teach me a lesson. You wanted me to never do that again.

Now that your and my chapter is coming to an end, I’m not angry anymore. I was in the beginning. I couldn’t accept what was happening to me. I couldn’t accept so many bad things coming one after the other.

I couldn’t believe it was all happening at the same time, like a chain reaction that had no intention of stopping.

Now, I realize that everything I was going through was for a reason. All the mistakes I’ve made were paving the road to a happier future. I just couldn’t see it right away. But I know it now.

I was so scared of endings. I was dreading goodbyes. They meant something was over, and over means sadness. It means loneliness. But what I didn’t see was, that with every ending starts something new.

Endings don’t have to be depressing and hurtful. Endings mean that something different is going to happen. Something different means change, and change is good because after every closed chapter comes another one.

And it’s up to me to decide whether that chapter is going to take a turn for worse than I’ve already felt or for the better. It’s up to all of us. We make our own destinies.

2019, you taught me to believe in myself when I was at my most insecure. You taught me to get up and fight when all I wanted to do was crawl into bed and never get up. You made me listen to that little voice inside who kept saying: “Try, be better, be stronger, try harder!”

You challenged me and forced me to hit my limits, to really see what I was capable of doing. You got me out of my comfort zone and made me confront my fears instead of running away. Thank you for that.

During this year, I’ve learned what it really means to be brave and take advantage of all the possibilities I have in front of me. I just had to grab every moment I thought would bring me change. A change for the better.

I’ve learned that you cannot be stuck in the past. You have to look ahead because if you don’t seize the moment that is coming, that moment will never come back. It’s better to go for it than to miss out on it and regret it for the rest of your life.

2019, you taught me to live in the present, let go of the past, and look forward to the future.

You’ve taught me that every mistake I made, was for a reason. Every wrong move I made, led me to something new. I just didn’t see it then.

2019, the mistakes I’ve made brought me to my breaking point, but the strength I’ve gained made me get passed it.

Dear 2019, you’ve thrown me surprises I didn’t expect. You’ve tossed me into a horrible storm with wind throwing me back and forth. You’ve ridden me on emotional roller coasters and brought me to destruction.

But dear 2019, you’ve also given me hope, optimism, and faith that I can survive all the bad luck and the lousy hand of cards I was given. Because you see, here I am, at the end of yet another year, waiting to start another story of the many yet to come.

Throughout out the turbulent times, millions of things happening all of a sudden, you didn’t beat me down the whole way. You still decided to show me there is always a way out, that there is always a solution.

You gave me the strength I never knew I had. You taught me lessons I will never forget.

2019, I’m sad you’re coming to an end because that means I’m leaving the past in the past. But 2019, I’m happy that you’re finally over because that means I get to do things all over again. I get a fresh start.

I can do whatever my heart wants. I can pursue my dreams. I can let go of things I don’t want to remember.

2019, thank you for all the mistakes I’ve made. Thank you for helping me become a different person than I was a year ago.



Open Topic

I Survived.

This year wasn’t everything that I expected. It was a year in which I actually learned a lot of things but in a harsh way. It was a year of losing my loved ones, secrets revealing themselves, and seeing people around me taking off their masks and revealing their real faces.

During the year, I learned that I can rely only on myself. I learned that no matter how many times everybody tells me they will be there forever, they will leave, making excuses as soon as things get bad.

I learned that I shouldn’t give too much of myself to the people who
don’t deserve it and that words mean nothing if actions are different.

I learned that family doesn’t necessarily mean safety and that the ones who swore they will always protect me, left with the first bump on the road.

This was a year where I learned a lot about myself. I learned to control my emotions, to control the way I react and to embrace every change like it was the best thing that is happening to me.

During this year, I completely changed, but I am totally okay with it.

I had the bad luck to lose people who I thought were my best friends. But in fact, they were with me just because of some personal interest. They were with me because I was convenient for them. And nothing more. So losing them was a bad thing, but when I take a closer look, it is better that I saw their real faces in time.

This year taught me that when someone says they love me, it doesn’t always mean it will last forever. I learned that love is all about how much effort you are willing to make for someone. It is how much you are willing to give to them without asking for anything in return. I learned that I shouldn’t push things, especially when it comes to love. And that was the most important thing I learned so far.

This year also taught me that the only person I should trust is actually myself. Because I trusted so many individuals in my life, and they all took advantage of me. They disappointed me by taking me for granted and neglecting me. They didn’t see how much I was willing to make an effort for them. They only looked out for themselves.

This year I learned that in life, I can rely only on myself. I learned that every time I fall down, I need to get up. I learned I should never give up. Because if I do that, I will be lost completely. I will be just one more woman who gave up on her life. And that is not something I want to do.

I also learned that there will be different phases in life and that it won’t always all be so flawless. There will be hard times, times where I will feel I am losing my mind but that I will get over them if I believe in myself. I learned that life and love isn’t only about one man, and if he doesn’t make me feel happy, then I shouldn’t hold onto him.

I learned that love will come when I least expect it and that it is something I shouldn’t push. It should come to me naturally.

I learned that I don’t need a man to complete me. I don’t need one to be my hero either. I am strong and capable enough to take care of myself. And even when I will be tired to the bone, I will find that bit of power within myself to keep moving. I will never give up, especially not on myself.

This year taught me so many things, and some of them changed my outlook on life completely. I learned that I can survive everything that happens to me on my own and that I don’t need anyone’s help.

And even though more bad than good things happened this year, I am thankful for it. I am thankful because in this way, I learned how to cope with life problems and how to get out of them with a cold head.

This year helped me to grow and to understand myself better. And what is most important, it helped me see that no matter how much I am broken, I can be whole again.