Open Topic

Strong Girls Feel The Deepest.

“Never apologize for being sensitive or emotional. It’s a big heart and aren’t afraid to let others see it. Showing your emotions is a sign of strength.” – Brigitte Nicole

She’s not afraid of telling you she likes you. As much as she fears it, she fears more not saying something.

She doesn’t look at the way she feels as something that is clingy or too much. To her, it comes naturally.

She’s been told she should be different. She should change. She should hide how she feels and not put it all out there. But being exactly how she is, is who she is to a core.

And she’s not afraid to show you exactly that and exactly what she feels.

She’s not afraid to say “I love you,” even if you don’t say it back.

She loves deeply not because she’s desperate to be loved. She just isn’t afraid to love.

She knows how to love even in those moments she’s been met with heartbreak.

She considers it a weakness to hide how she feels, in a world that’s told her to do just that. She hopes you feel the same way, but she doesn’t need you too.

She knows love isn’t that which needs to be reciprocated, but rather enough that you both can feel it.

Unrequited love is a life she knows but does not fear because she knows she’s doing it right.

For she’d rather love someone too deeply and let them know it, than fear never saying something at all.

She isn’t afraid of intense feelings.

She lives for the eye contact that lasts a little too long. She lives for the hugs that linger. She lives for those moments where you just know something is there only none of you say it.

She’s waiting for her time, not out of fear or trying to be coy. But she knows with confidence no matter how much time passes her feelings won’t change. There is a confidence to that. 

And there’s no pressure for her.

You won’t have to wonder what she’s thinking. You won’t have to wonder if she’ll answer your text or snap or like your instagram. She feels no shame in answering too quickly or being the first like or view.

She won’t lie to you. She won’t make you question anything.

She knows dating is a game. A game that will never be won by those who choose to participate.

So she chooses not to play you or let you play her.

By not playing this game, she’s the one that always wins in the end.

She’ll build you up just because she wants to. She’ll give without expecting anything in return. You’ll wonder her motives. You’ll question her. Then you’ll realize everything about her is genuine.

Yeah, she might come on too strong, but it’s better than being cold and guarded.

Yeah, she might make every move you’re not supposed to, but that’s because she lives by her own agenda.

She’ll be blunt and so honest you think she’s trying to deceive you.

Be careful of girls like these. The ones that make every type of emotion look so easy.

The ones who don’t fear people at their worst.

Next thing you know, it’s 3 AM and you are telling her things you never told anyone. Next thing you know, she’s seeing you in states your best friend hasn’t. Next thing you know, you’re having deep conversations about things that have only ever crossed your mind and never come out of your mouth.

Fear the day you trust a girl who feels too deeply.

But fear, even more, the day you realize you love her.

And you will fall for her.

And you’ll realize this girl who was a little different came into your life and changed it ever so slightly, simply by showing you it’s okay to feel things deeply.

Even the bad stuff.

And she’ll see your worst. She’ll see you break down in moments you consider yourself weak and she’ll love you anyway.

And there will come a time where she trusts you enough to share everything in her past. And when she does, you’ll realize it’s not just love she feels deeply, but pain.

Tears will shed that she doesn’t hold back and you’ll see her in her most raw and honest state, telling you everything that’s happened to her.

And you won’t see her as ugly or vulnerable or too emotional or feeling things too deeply.

She’ll open up to you and you’ll understand everything about her. You’ll respect her a little more than you did before. And you’ll know in that moment, you’ve never seen someone so beautiful.

Because the girls who feel things deeply and aren’t afraid to show it, know the power of every emotion.

Girls like these play their emotions like keys to a piano.

They aren’t afraid of any feeling they have, in fact, they embrace even the bad things.

But girls like these, know how to change people through love. They know how to connect to people through pain.

They know vulnerability is not a sign of weakness, but rather an essential moment that shows you exactly how much you trust someone.

These are the girls that change the type of game guys play by not playing one at all.

These are the girls who break through cold guarded hearts and through a simple touch and teach people to love again.

These are the girls who look fear in the eyes and smile with a coy look.

These are the girls who run through fire not fearing if they get burnt.

These are the girls who go for people who challenge them in such a way, it’s the other people who change as a result.

These are the girls that turn boys into men and assholes not want to be anymore. 

These are the girls who know not everyone is what they appear to be.

The strongest girls will always be the ones who feel things the deepest because they aren’t afraid to. For their greater fear is changing.

So to the girls whose fire burns a little too bright. The ones who are told they need to dim their light. Don’t.

You are the ones that change people through everything you are and when you walk away, don’t look back. Just know everyone you’ve crossed path with, you’ve left a burning trail never to be forgotten.


Open Topic

Anxiety Makes Me.

“I owe you an apology…” and he questioned why laughing and as my fingers began to type and I tried to explain everything that been going through my head in the past 48 hours, I realized how ridiculous I sounded. 

But the truth was, it might have been ridiculous but there were still things worrying me. There were still thoughts keeping me up.

And as I tried to explain all of it logically, I came to this realization nothing about anxiety is logical.

Anxiety plants these black seeds of doubt in my mind making me question everyone and everything. It makes me doubt really good people because anxiety tells me they aren’t. Anxiety tells me, “you should wonder if they are lying?” Anxiety tells me, “you’ve done something wrong.” Anxiety is what makes me question my self-worth, not people. Anxiety makes up these scenarios in my head and I have no choice but to follow the destructive path it will lead me down.

Next thing I know, I’m apologizing for something that didn’t even cross someone’s mind, but my over analytical skills think it’s something.

Anxiety creates solutions to things that aren’t even problems other than anywhere but in my head.


Anxiety makes me feel like I have to apologize for everything. 

Apologize for thinking too much.

Apologize for talking too much.

Apologize for texting too much.

Apologize for trying entirely too hard.

Apologize for caring too much.

Apologize for showing it.

Apologize for coming on too strong, if I did.

Apologize for the fact that I apologized.

Anxiety makes me feel guilty for being myself because I constantly wonder if people are going to take something I’ve said or done the wrong way.

Then I beat myself up over the, “What if” scenario.

It’s hard enough accepting who you are and embracing it when the world rejects everything about you. Everyone knows that battle. Everyone has fought it at some point.

But it’s harder when it’s you vs. yourself, in an internal battle that’s all in your head, you want so desperately to control.

You try to control something that’s been controlling you for as long as you remember.

It’s every person I doubt when I shouldn’t.

It’s every worse case scenario that never comes to life.

It’s ruining things before they begin because in my mind, I’ve already said or done something to end it. Or I will say or do something eventually.

Anxiety makes me look at my reflection and question everything I see.

Anxiety makes me want to hide who I am because I truly hate it sometimes.

I hate staring at a phone wondering why someone hasn’t answered and rereading every word to my previous text and wondering what they are thinking.

I hate wondering if I’ve done something in the past because anxiety doesn’t let me forget my mistakes.

It brings them up every so often reminding me of the time I messed up. And even when people have forgiven me, I still haven’t forgiven myself, regardless of how much time has passed. Anxiety makes me want to say sorry a hundred times just so the person knows.

I hate staying up at night questioning things I’ve done in the past, and worrying about things that haven’t happened in the future.

I hate always worrying about things. 

I hate being out in public because I’m in my own world sometimes. Physically I’m there but in my head, I’m not.

I hate the moments where I need to break down, only it isn’t the appropriate time to.

And I hate not knowing when something really little will set me off.

I hate the anxiety of being late, even though I know everyone said not to get there on time.

I hate the worrying what people think because as much as I try and play like I don’t care, I really do.

Anxiety tells me, no one likes me and here are 50 reasons why.

Anxiety makes me want to apologize for all of these things.

And when you first meet me, you won’t notice this is what I’m like.

I’ll hide it behind nail biting and tapping and excusing myself in public. I’ll hide it by listening instead of speaking. I’ll hide it behind a busy schedule and always doing things. The truth is if I’m busy, I’m not thinking too much about anything other than the task at hand. At first, I’ll do everything to hide it.

Hide the fact it took me 30 minutes to make a decision weighing out every pro and con. Hide the fact it takes me two hours to get ready because in my head, everything looks awful on me and anxiety tells me so. I hide the fact I have minor panic attacks if I’m late to something or if I’ve overslept. And how something so little can change a day that’s hasn’t even begun yet.

I’ll hide the fact I’m exhausted because I didn’t sleep last night thinking about something that may never happen.

And as you get to know me, you’ll begin to see how much anxiety plays a major role in my life.

And when you realize the truth, you’ll realize what I’ve had to live with most of my life. I’ll apologize for being this type of person.

I’ll apologize if it’s something you can’t second-hand deal with because there are times I can’t deal with it myself.

But at the same time, I can’t change it.

At the same time, I know I’m always going to live with this thing that dictates a lot of my life.

So I’ll always say sorry.

I’ll be sorry for the things I do and the things I don’t. But through your acceptance and understanding of something, I’m still struggling to understand myself, comes a love for you and all you are.

Only lately I’ve begun to realize, you don’t have to love everything about yourself before someone else does. Sometimes it takes someone loving those bits of yourself you reject, sometimes it takes hearing someone say it’s okay to be like this. It’s only then you begin to accept yourself for all you are but more than you realize, you don’t have to be sorry.