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What happened to you was not your fault.

It was not something you asked for, it was not something you deserved.

What happened to you was not fair.

You were merely collateral damage on someone else’s warpath, an innocent bystander who got wrecked out of proximity.

We are all traumatized by life, some of us from egregious wrongdoings, others by unprocessed pain and sidelined emotions. No matter the source, we are all handed a play of cards, and sometimes, they are not a winning hand.

Yet what we cannot forget is, that even when we are not at fault, healing in the aftermath will always fall on us — and instead of being burdened by this, we can actually learn to see it as a rare gift.

Healing is our responsibility because if it isn’t an unfair circumstance that becomes an unlived life.

Healing is our responsibility because unprocessed pain gets transferred to everyone around us, and we are not going to allow what someone else did to us to become what we do to those we love.

Healing is our responsibility because we have this one life, this single shot to do something important.

Healing is our responsibility because if we want our lives to be different, sitting and waiting for someone else to make them so,will not actually change them. It will only make us dependent and bitter.

Healing is our responsibility because we have the power to heal ourselves, even if we have previously been led to believe we don’t.

Healing is our responsibility because we are uncomfortable, and discomfort almost always signals a place in life in which we are slated to rise up and transform.

Healing is our responsibility because every great person you deeply admire began with every odd against them, and learned their inner power was no match for the worst of what life could offer.

Healing is our responsibility because “healing” is actually not returning to how and who we were before, it is becoming someone we have never been — someone stronger, someone wiser, someone kinder.

When we heal, we step into the people we have always wanted to be. We are not only able to metabolize the pain, we are able to affect real change in our lives, in our families, and in our communities. We are able to pursue our dreams more freely. We are able to handle whatever life throws at us, because we are self-efficient and assured. We are more willing to dare, risk, and dream of broader horizons, ones we never thought we’d reach.

The thing is, that when someone else does something wrong and it affects us, we often sit around waiting for them to take the pain away, as though they could come along and undo what has been done.

We fail to realize that in that hurt are the most important lessons of our lives, the fertile breeding ground upon which we can start to build everything we really want.

We are not meant to get through life unscathed.

We are not meant to get to the finish line unscarred, clean and bored.

Life hurts us all in different ways, but it is how we respond — and who we become — that determines whether a trauma becomes a tragedy, or the beginning of the story of how the victim became the hero.

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You Glow Differently.

You glow differently when you let the pain go. The pain of the past. The pain of your childhood. The pain of your breakup. The pain of your failures. You glow differently when you don’t let pain define you. When you take the lessons it taught you and turn them into wisdom, into art, or into stepping stones on your way to resilience.

You glow differently every time people expect you to break, but you don’t crack. You’ve survived storms before. You’ve overcome tragedies and painful experiences before. You can do this. You glow differently when you allow yourself to feel the pain without letting it permeate your life. When you let it all out, but continue to live your life to the fullest. When you let the darkness roll out, but let the sunlight in the next morning.

You glow differently when you don’t let your heartbreak stop you from finding love again, when it becomes your motivation to find your passion, or get back in touch with your friends or meet new people. You glow differently when you believe that these things end for a very good reason, even though you might not understand it right away, it’s what’s best for you. You glow differently when you believe that God won’t take something away from you unless something better is on the way.

You glow differently when you don’t let your childhood wounds define you. Whether it was how your parents treated you or what they told you about love or about yourself. You glow differently when you forgive yourself. When you don’t carry the burdens of your childhood with you. When you don’t let the darkness of the past shadow the brightness of your future.

You glow differently when you’re not scared of pain, when you’re not ashamed of your scars, when you’ve found a way to accept the pain, and you’re not ashamed to tell your story. When you let your pain inspire you to dig out your inner strength, your power or your talent. You glow differently every time you grow out of your pain and find happiness again.

You glow differently every time you heal, because it looks so damn good on you.

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I'll Love You…

Maybe you aren’t everything I think you are.

At least that’s what people tell me. They see everything you’ve done wrong. Every mistake you’ve made. Every moment you let me down. And I’m not blind to it. I’m not naive. Because I know you have flaws.

And the truth is, as I get to know you more, I see more clearly that you aren’t some perfect person I thought you were when we first met.

The truth is, as you get to know people more, you begin to see everything a little closer. Skin that might look perfect from afar, you might not notice has a scar with a story of how it got there. And that’s the beautiful thing about people, there is always more than that which scratches the surface.

And I enjoy learning everything about you. Even the bad stuff.

Because the truth is, even with the flaws that prevail, I still see everything good about you.

Even with every mistake you’ve made and stories of your past of things you can’t forgive yourself for, I look at it as something beautiful. Because all of it made you into the person you are today. 

So if you’d let me, I’d like to love you at your worst.

I’ll love you in those moments where you aren’t quite yourself and you don’t like the person looking back at you.

I’ll be there to remind who you are at your best and who it is you make me.

I’ll love you during those nights you’re a little too tired and you look a little exhausted from a long day and you don’t know how you’re going to wake up and do it again tomorrow.

I’ll be there to remind you I’m proud of you and everything you do.

I’ll love you when you’re angry, even though it’s a side very few people see.

I won’t try to fix it, I’ll just love you the best I know how to.

I’ll love you in your absence, in the moments I wish you were standing beside me. I’ll understand that sometimes you can’t be and I will never hold it against you. Because I entered your life knowing very well there are things I’d come second to.

But the thing is with you, the juice is completely worth the squeeze.

Wherever I am and whatever I’m doing or whoever I’m with, in those moments we can’t be together, my heart is yours to have.

I’ll love you in those moments you’re putting on some act to appease people and with one look across the room, I’ll know something is up.

I won’t ask what or press you for details, but I’ll love you and listen when you’re ready to talk.

I’ll love you when you push me away and tell me you’re better off alone.

Because I won’t believe that for even a second. But what I do believe in is, you and us and the person you make me and the way you make me feel standing beside you. That’s enough for me.

I’ll love you for the past you can’t seem to accept because when I look at you, I see a future in your eyes looking back at me.

I’ll love you when you’re stressed and overwhelmed.

And I’ll do anything to try to help you even if there’s nothing I can do, may you find comfort in company and in knowing we are in this together.

As long as you continue to choose me every day, I’ll always be yours.

And if you let me, I’ll love you through those tears I know you think you’re too strong to cry.

I’ll wipe them thinking nothing less of you.

I’ll love you in those moments you become that drunk version of yourself and if I have to, I’ll let you be. I’ll let you have your nights as long as it’s me you wake up to in the morning. 

I’ll love you through the confusion life throws at you and the moments you don’t understand. I’ll remind you it’s okay to feel that way.

I’ll love you when you want to change something big about your life. Go somewhere. Do something.

Because I’ve always believed in you. And I truly believe you can do anything.

You’ll always have someone in your corner.

In those moments where you hate yourself, I promise you I never will.

If ever you should let me, know I’ll always love you at your worst. 

Because you at your worst is better than people’s best.

And if you let me, I’ll love you with everything I have in me.

Because the honest truth is, yes you have flaws, but there is nothing I would ever change about you.

Everything you are, makes me so proud of who I am. Proud to be someone who is worthy of standing beside you. Someone who loves themselves a little more for the love and attention you’ve shown me.

And maybe you aren’t everything I think you are. Maybe you’re more than anything I could have expected in a person, everything I’ve ever wanted, but couldn’t put into words. Everything I couldn’t even dream of, because it wasn’t until you came did I realize someone could fill my life and heart, the way you have.

And if ever I’m so privileged and you should let me, I’ll love you forever and always.